Ashlee Kelly’s Fancy New Vagina

20130212-162939.jpg

I’ll be the first to admit that my blogging hasn’t been as regular as I’d like. I can’t place my finger on exactly why that is. I think I could blame it on some of the personal issues I am facing in my private life. For example, right this moment I am off work due to anxiety issues. Which is disruptive, to say the least. My job is stressful, which hasn’t helped matters. But the people there are lovely, and I hate being off for this long as I feel I am taking advantage of their understanding surrounding my situation.

So I have still a few days in which to pull myself together. The whole situation I am in is taking it’s toll, to the point where some pretty major events in my life have almost taken a back seat. But there’s one in particular that has barely even sunk in yet, and is what I’m going to be discussing today.

By the end of this year, I will be having my gender reassignment surgery. That means in a few months from now, I will have a vagina. A pussy. A cunt. A whatever word everyone calls it.

But what I have found weird about all this is how anti-climatic this feels. For years, I have known that I would one day have the surgery. It’s something that I have thought about for as long as I can remember. Even before I came out as trans, I was weighing the pros and cons of what the surgery would entail. I have studied the procedure up and down. I know exactly what to expect. I have followed blogs, read up on Wikipedia, and watched many generic TV shows featuring middle aged transwomen (most of them being army veterans) where surgery has played a major role.

Everywhere I have looked, surgery has been the be-all-end-all of what it means to be a transsexual woman. For many, it is the end of a journey where they, and to an extent society as a whole, can consider them as their true gender. But for me, this is only half true.

I consider myself a woman. A woman who has a penis. Having the operation will not change how I see myself, except for being a woman with a vagina (like the vast majority of women out there). But it will certainly make me feel more comfortable within myself.

I have no use for my penis. I haven’t in a long time. Sexually, it’s a waste – I don’t masturbate using it, as I find it kinda dull and empty. It serves no purpose other than getting in the way most of the time, and severely reducing my wardrobe.

So naturally, having a vaginaplasty makes perfect sense for me. And whilst it doesn’t make me any more or less of a woman in my eyes than I already am, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to it. It suddenly opens up a whole new world for me, doing exciting new things…like sunbathing and swimming.

So it’s probably a surprise to most people reading this that fucking isn’t the top of my to-do list once I get my vagina. Obviously it’s something I am looking forward to do. But my top priority is to live a normal life. As I type this I am contemplating where to go on holiday once I have the operation. Florida? The Algarve? Ibiza? It’s gonna be somewhere hot, where I can just lay about in a bikini and go swimming. It’s certainly not what you’d expect someone to be planning once they got a pussy. But in a way, that’s the boring truth.

Having the operation will usher in a new life for me, make no mistake. But my biggest aims are just living the life of a normal woman. I don’t want a vagina for sex; I want it to live the same life that millions of women take for granted. And very soon, I’ll join them!

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Ashlee Kelly’s Fancy New Vagina

  1. I hope you understand that by not using the parts you have now it is going to make sexual gratification after surgery very hard to obtain. By not using the parts you have now is actually allowing your body to “forget” how to be sexually gratified and when your parts change after surgery, it will be very difficult for your body to relearn how to be sexually gratified in its new configuration. This is why many transwomen are unable to reach orgasm after surgery. Anorgasmia before surgery can lead to anorgasmia after surgery.

    If you don’t heed this advice, then don’t blame your surgeon if you are unable to reach orgasm after surgery. Sexual health is extremely important for everyone.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s